champagne kissses...

this past fourth of july we drove north to attend a wedding.
it provided an opportunity to see old friends and acquaintances. even though many destinations aren't too far, we still fall into routines and never pass "go".    

it felt great to get away. i actually like part of the drive north on i-five. you can still catch glimpses of old barns from the highway.  i'm reminded of places where i grew up. not to mention i really like being on the open rode. i like driving and seeing the land.




                                           


       YES i'm sure it's better when you're on a bike with no vehicle obstructing you... sheesh!




this wedding felt different. i felt more apart of it. we went stopped into the pre-gathering the night before which sort of gives you a leg up... you've met people. you also get to see the bride and groom at a time when not everyone will be vying for their time. we are glad we went.

there were nine of us, five of which were representing the groom's special messenger community. and honestly, i hope that the nine of us plus said bride and groom can get together again sometime. our evening was filled with laughter and ease. as was our impromptu lunch with mc61`s cousin and family. they just happened to be catching a cruise from seattle the same weekend.  


laughter and ease are wonderful things. picking up where one has left things as if no actual time has passed... ahh refreshing.

i don't want to give the impression that we dislike the folks we know in seattle, or that there's bad blood. i think for me i'm searching for "family", for meaningful relationships. i care deeply about the people in my life, i want the best for them, even if i may not "get" some decisions..i can always learn to understand and support them. i would hope that the same could be said about the people i know towards me. 
sometimes it's hard to see or feel the return. i think i'm a giver and there are times when i'm not very good at asking.. at clearing my throat and speaking up. yeah, i'm sure that sounds funny if you know me... i can be quite opinionated however, that's not what i'm getting at..
i don't like feeling like i'm always complaining about the same thing and not doing anything about it. some times things, changes, decisions are complex and take time to be resolved. the past month has been difficult in terms of my magical work life. however, my life life has started to have some calmness? certainly not clarity because then i'd be posting about moving forward or something... i think i'm digressing....

as corny as it sounds i just felt like there was a lot of love, respect, and support happening at that wedding. it made me feel good. it was certainly good to feel re-connected with people we haven't seen in a while. 


maybe in the day to day grind there isn't much room in terms of letting people know they're special. they are meaningful. 
i try but know i fall short. i have expressed to a few people how much i've appreciated their support in certain aspects of my life. shit i wouldn't be going to pilates if it weren't for a friend not pushing me too hard, but not giving up on my motivation either. now, two months later i'm completely addicted. 


also, i think part of that weekend reminded me that i don't have to be so hard. it's okay to lighten up and let people in a little bit more. build the family i want. be more of the person i want or that i envision myself to be.